Is it old age? Or what?
June 1st, 2023
All my life growing up, and I am still growing. I seldom gave getting old a second thought. However, one morning when my feet hit the floor after a rather active dream filled night, I winced with pain and realized that I was an old man. It wasn’t long before I was on a regiment of pills for all sorts of ailments known to man. The pain I managed for years started to slow me down. My doctors were becoming like an old friend. I keep in touch with three dentists and I am working on my present one that is contemplating retirement soon. My Lawyer and Financial advisors have both retired and my two sons are doing what I have been doing for 36 years, enjoying retirement. The problem is that retirement is not enjoyable any longer. Oh yes, there are moments when the pain subsides and a pretty lady gives me a smile in the grocery store, or call across the parking lot as to how much she loves my little car. For a while I was confined to shopping with an electric grocery cart and I was a pretty good driver but the old feet and legs are a bit better since losing some weight so I am back pushing the cart. I buy more than I can carry many times so the chair lift at home for the stairs is handy. I only used it following a pretty serious operation for a couple of weeks but I leave it hooked up just in case I will need it later in life. It seems like all of a sudden, my once active body has been reduced to a frail shell of who I once was. Golf, sailing, gardening and general maintenance of several properties are a thing of the past. The love of cooking and painting, singing and eating are just a fond memory. Wow, I am a wreck! I still have a few friends that are older than me and in better shape, but very few. Over the past two months, five male friends have passed away. It is getting lonely.
However, as bad as it seems, I do have so much to be thankful for. My wife Joan, a friend for over 75 years and my soulmate for 65 of that time as my devoted wife. We have two fine sons and 4 grandsons and a lovely daughter in-law. For the past 25 years, I have been honing my skills as a writer. It has been a long hone and I still feel like a rank amateur, even after 7 books and over 200 short stories. My brain seems to be fair and I do have a good memory for most things so in spite of all the draw backs, I can still sit down and put my thoughts on paper. Sad as it may be, my thoughts are not in sync with a large percentage of today’s populous. As my last book was titled “Time Will Tell”, some personal stories and my writings over this past three years on covid and its effect on the world population, is not very popular.
The world today has changed. I fear that it will never return to the days of old. Even though I am still able to drive and walk, much slower than before and with some hesitancy, I am thankful for that. I feel that this world has passed me by. Families have been separated by a new attitude and fast forwarded into a tech world that I am not comfortable in. Our once held standards and morals have been eroded and God’s way for mankind has been ignored by today’s generations. One change in our language seems like a good example of today’s society, I was always taught in school and at home that, proper etiquette and to be a polite person, always put yourself behind others, eg. “my brother and I”. Not anymore, we show our true selves as being very self-centered by changing our language to be always putting Me first. eg, “me and my brother.” or “me and them.” When people hold themselves up as being stalwart citizens such as our politicians who are known to be the worst liars in our society, how can we expect our children to be any different?
So, when I once said out loud that death was not the worst thing in life and was admonished for expressing this thought, I hold to my point. Death for some will be a great release from a world that has been very cruel and has passed them by. I fear it is just “OLD AGE”.
Paul D. Scott rantingsandraves.com